Someone call a plumber
Shit won't drain from my life
Give me that number
Get him off my ex-wife
No time to hesitate
Jettison all unwanted baggage
Where's the Drano?
Better use a bacteriophage
I've got amoebas
Cause I forgot to wash my hands
Doubled over with cramps
This aggression will not stand
I'm hoppin to get boppin
Two pantlegs at a time
Then urge to express something
Or is it just the runs
Pregnant with possibilities
Methane comes up bubblin'
I've done gone and fracked
My G.I. tract
For uncertain outcome
Hell fire and brimstone
Are my karma now
Avalanche and mudslides
The natural history of my insides
Please staple my gut shut
I'll be grinning like Al Roker
I've suffered though this token
Rite of passage long enough
Should have stayed
With old Plan A
Why'd I have to upgrade, please,
My intestinal biodiversity?
Dear Gods of Nepal
You are everywhere
Purging me of dreams
In cascading fetid streams
My hat's off to you
You've made me see
Inexorably
That I'm simply full of doo-doo.
